“I feel emotionally manipulated over the name of my son – my husband is not able to agree”

Mumsnet was contacted by a woman who wanted to know if she should change her mind about her son’s middle names. Her husband had already chosen it. She couldn’t stand it.

The mother asked for advice

It can be difficult to choose a name for your child.

Most couples can make a decision after nine months, which is a good thing.

Mumsnet was contacted by one woman who wanted to seek advice. She feels emotionally manipulated into selecting a name.

The husband loves it and feels a strong emotional connection, but the wife isn’t interested.

Now, she seeks help to manage the very delicate situation.

She explained the following: “I feel cruel, but I just can’t do it. [My husband] has just lost his grandad, whom he was very close to.

Mumsnet users have been divided by the name.


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“He desperately wants to use his name as a middle name if this baby – due end of March, turns out to be a boy.

“I feel emotionally manipulated and it’s unfair to impose a name upon someone for the rest their lives in order to preserve the memory of someone else.

“It’s not like we are going to ever forget him. I want my only son to have a name I am actually proud of and won’t be totally embarrassed by forever.

“I felt the need to tell everyone asking his name WHY he was called that. Okay, it’s a middle-name, but… am I being unreasonable? The name is Maurice”

People were split, with one advising: “Hmmmm… as a middle name, I’d be inclined. [husband’s]sake tbh.

“Maurice isn’t that bad…I’ve known a few and they were lovely (although I did also have a cat called Maurice).”

Another author wrote: “Middle names aren’t often used. Could you compromise? March is still a bit of time off, the baby may be a girl anyway, and it isn’t worth upsetting your other half when he has just lost his Grandad.

“Your feelings are understandable. My eldest picked my middle name and I didn’t realize it was my father in law’s middle. Although I wouldn’t want it, my son chose it. Everyone knows it was because my son and NOT my FIL.”

A third added: “Because it was a good name, I gave my son it. [husband’s]Name of my father (and then we had my dad’s middle name to make sure my dad wasn’t offended!) Because I didn’t like it less than [husband]I didn’t like the names I chose!

“Of course, if it carries on making you cringe don’t do it, but if you can re-educate yourself to stop cringing it would be a lovely gesture in my honest opinion!”

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